It’s over halfway through June already?! Where does the time go?
Warning: This turned into a fairly long piece where I discuss what’s been going on in my life the last few months. If you’re only interested in my future writing updates, search for “What’s Next on the Writing Front?” to jump to it.
What’s Been Going on in My Life?
So, since my last update…in February…wow, still doesn’t feel like it’s been that long…there have been some pretty significant changes in my life. The biggest change…I quit my job. After almost 15 years working at the call center / IT services gig, I had finally reached a point where I could simply no longer handle the daily drudgery. I had a lot of factors that weighed into that decision, and it took me about six months to finally decide that quitting was the best option for me.
As I told the guys at the office: “My ‘give-a-damn’ broke, and I can’t fix it this time.” Burnout was definitely a factor in this decision, but there was a lot more.
Life is short. That was made devastatingly clear to me in September of 2021 when my best friend, a man who was like a brother to me, suddenly died. We had been hanging out since high school back in the late 90s, starting with our D&D group, then between sessions, heck, he lived with us for a while until he could get back on his feet at one point, and eventually we were even at the office together, as he started working there after quitting his prior job working as a butcher. He worked there almost two years, and had developed health problems, but seemed to be on the mend, and was getting ready to make some big changes in his own life. He was going to marry his longtime fiancé on their anniversary in October, and he had another, better job lined up. He was literally coming into the office that morning to turn in his two-weeks notice, had just pulled out of the driveway of his fiancé’s home, and between the driveway and the end of her house, suffered a massive heart attack. All indications were that he died pretty much instantly, so I can at least be thankful that he didn’t suffer.
That was what really got me to thinking about what I was doing with my life. Was I happy working with that company, doing that kind of work? What about my own health? We’d had plenty of discussions over the years about quitting our jobs and finding something we’d actually enjoy. I’m fairly sure I was in the midst of a multi-year depression while working at that place. I had become a hermit outside of our gaming group, my family could see that I wasn’t happy, sometimes looked downright hostile just being around people. A place like that changes you, and usually not for the better.
I’d started attending a photography class at one of the local churches back in January. One of the things we learned very early on was that if you’re not happy with something, change it; this referred to the settings on the camera primarily, but that also applied to life as well. It got me thinking a lot more.
I’m approaching forty (will be there next year, in fact). My friend would’ve been forty at the end of September. My father and his brother both died in their mid-forties. I’ve lived with diabetes since I was diagnosed in 8th grade, and my health was only getting worse. Sitting at a desk all day was making it very difficult to control my blood sugar or lose weight; I’d try to walk throughout the day, but with constant issues to deal with as call center / IT services manager, it wasn’t possible most of the time. The constant high blood sugar numbers has led to multiple instances of retinal bleeding over the last two or three years; I’ve had to have laser treatments two or three times to help shore up the blood vessels in my eyes, and blindness could result if this isn’t controlled. I had pretty much no energy to spare for anything outside of work, and even then, my afternoon crashes were proving very difficult to work through (and still sometimes are). I’d also started developing issues in my shoulder from keeping my arm raised at a certain angle to use the mouse at my desk, and I was usually not sleeping well, knowing that I couldn’t escape the office (even when I was off the clock, if there was a problem, and there always was, I’d get calls or messages at home about it).
So, after months of consideration, I finally made the call in March, and put in my notice. I gave them plenty of time, a month in fact, so that I could create tutorials for all the stuff I did and to train a replacement for the position. My boss wound up deciding not to fill the spot, and wanted to take over most of my duties himself (this has not gone well according to the people I keep in contact with, lol). April 8th, 2022 was my last day with the company, and I’ve been free and clear since.
I immediately took a few days for myself and enjoyed a solo excursion to the Smoky Mountains before our family vacation there in May, enjoying getting to photograph some of the places I’ve never been to, and before the world went entirely to shit and gas prices skyrocketed. Since then, I’ve been keeping busy with work around the house, trying to improve my health, and trying to break over a decade of bad habits I developed at the job.
The struggle continues on those bad habits. My YouTube habits are still an issue; seems like if I just watch one video, it’ll turn into a dozen, or more and my day is shot. I’ve been trying to limit myself to watching them only if I’m working out, and have slowly been making some progress. I’ve generally been trying to get more active, walking daily if possible (in addition to the morning bike rides), though had a period after Memorial Day where I was getting a ton of walking in…only to see my blood sugar keep rising even walking multiple times per day and keeping the carb count as low as I could. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I think generally, I’m already healthier than I was at the office. My shoulders are still having some issues, but not nearly as bad as they were, I’m sleeping much better now, and friends and family have reported a noticeable change in my demeanor for the positive.
I’m still not sure how two months have gone by so quickly. As I write this, I feel like it should still be like Tuesday, not Friday morning. Most days seem to go well, then noon hits, and then its suddenly bed time. And yet I don’t get nearly enough done, it feels like. I’ve still been keeping to my daily writing habit for the most part, and have begun working on some RPG-related stuff that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now and just lost the will for while at the office. I’m also trying to read more; I’ve got stacks of books that I want to read, and just never felt like trying to read them while the job continually drained my energy.
What’s Next on the Writing Front?
So, now that that overly long ramble is done, what’s next for my writing?
I’ve not been idle since the start of the year. I’ve written almost daily even though I haven’t been posting what I’m writing. I have another huge story in the works, what will probably wind up being an ongoing series; I’ve got eleven chapters finished right now and took a break to finish up some other projects, with nine more already outlined. My whole reason for starting this one was basically “What if Final Fantasy X had a more likeable protagonist (one who actually WAS the protagonist of the story and not just trying to say he was…), but was also filled with various bondage/kinky situations?” A lot of the early story follows the general FFX plot, with the protagonist, Mayu, being something of a combination of Yuna and Tidus, a famous idol singer before getting sucked into the future and learning that she can in fact use magic and summon powerful creatures.
I also have several new short stories in the works, plus a few I finished last year or earlier this year that are mostly ready to post, and I’m planning a sequel to the Pink Pussy story, as well as the ‘first’ Lila Darius book (chronologically the first, as it will detail how she, Kori, and Releana met and why they’re sticking together). I’ve got a list of twenty-plus other ideas I’m developing for various settings, too, so there’s plenty to work from at this point.
RPG-wise, I’ve been developing a post-apocalyptic setting the last few weeks that I’ve had in mind for a long time and simply couldn’t find the energy to devote to it. Think Fallout, but instead of the future as seen from the 50s, it’s more like the future as seen from the 80s, and in instead of an alternate earth, it’s a fantasy world (kerryns, elves, orcs, etc) that has developed technologically because the magic ran out, only to suffer an apocalyptic, world-ending cataclysm of some form. Along with this, I’m working on a modified version of the Star Wars Saga Edition rules to use with this (and eventually my sci-fi setting), as that particular system became my favorite d20 system (and while I have expanded my horizons a lot over the years, d20 systems are what I’m most familiar with; I started with 3e D&D on launch, and that was right during the height of our gaming time).
Further, I hope to develop my writing craft more as I attempt to do actual short stories of 7k-10k words; for me, that’s usually a chapter, so I’ve got a long way to go. The idea is to try some of these in the post-apocalyptic setting to help with worldbuilding, and probably branch out to my other settings as well. I am also looking at trying some commission work as well.
Ultimately, my goal is to start making money with my writing, and perhaps even with my photography. Though the timing may not be great with what has happened in the world the last few months and money becomes much tighter, I do want to at least try. I’m still trying to come to a decision on how exactly to go about these plans (and would welcome any suggestions you may have!), and will let everyone know what I finally decide when I get to that point. I’ll still keep posting my writing publicly, though, even if it’s a few months later than it would be posted for patrons, for example.
Additionally, as I’m trying to start reading more again, I’d like to get back into reviewing books to some extent, and not just the very-often-bad-erotica like I used to review back in the day, but books of all kinds that I may have read. Though if some of the stuff I’ve read, and continue to read, can be sold and actually make some money, I’d like to think my chances are very good that my work would sell. I’m toying around with the idea of doing audio reviews instead of typing them out, whether that means strictly audio or actual video, I don’t know yet. I’ve always considered myself better behind the camera, not in front of it, so we’ll see how that goes as things develop on this front. To see what I’m currently reading and what I’ve finished, check out The Reading Room.
So, to close this out, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read over what’s been going on in my life, and where I hope to start advancing my hobby into something I can actually earn some income with. I will start posting some stories soon, probably around the start of July, which gives me a little more time to try and decide how I want to handle these various projects. If anyone has any suggestions or advice, I’d love to hear from you.
Till next time,
Urban out!
You can also reach me over on DeviantArt, or on my Discord server! In fact, I’m usually always on Discord if you wanna chat!
